I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Just cropdusted the office
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
