I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Randomize
