all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
P.S. I can't hear my feet
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
where are you?
Hypothermia
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
