Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Randomize
