It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Enjoy the penises
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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