Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
