You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
