just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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