just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
