TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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