Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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