i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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