hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
