hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
