I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
