Moan for me like Helen Keller
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I think I just sharted jello shots
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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