How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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