can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
