I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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