I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Is her dick bigger than yours?
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