I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
