Nicole vs. Life
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize