I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize