I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
