Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
