I puked a lego.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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