If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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