my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
