So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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