I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
