So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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