when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
