Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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