Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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