I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
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