I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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