he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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