I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize