I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
