just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
