I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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