i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
