how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
