She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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