Duck Duck Cougar?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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