who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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