the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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