it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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