i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
