brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
