It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Randomize
