I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
