Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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