Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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