this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
