I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
