My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
barbara walters just said penis...
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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