How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
