Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize